How Wonderful Life Is, While You’re In The World… by (Angel) Matt Yates

Guest Blogger fellow festival Angel , ‘Bruver from anuva Muva’ and friend Matt Yates writes about his experience at Glastonbury last week with his guitar and hero’s cape.

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.It’s been

a habit of mine for many a year to always keep a plectrum on me and a guitar to hand. If people ask why, I joke that there may be an emergency similar to that in many films where the pilot has collapsed and someone shouts out to the passengers “Can anybody fly a plane?!”, or in my case, “Can anyone play guitar?!”, at which point I would step up for my ‘hero moment’. It is of course a joke, I couldn’t for the life of me think of any emergencies where such action would be needed, much as festivals have taught me to accept and welcome the unpredictable.

It’s the Monday morning at Glastonbury, around 7am, and I’m having a last cup of tea in Angel Gardens with fellow crew member Tara, silently chiding myself for having fallen asleep around midnight, and only resurfacing around 3.30 to find that most of my friends were turning in. As crew it’s a long festival for us, we were all in by the Sunday beforehand to setup. By the time the gates open to the public we’re half way through, and with the heat at the beginning of the week we were all fairly exhausted. We sat watching the glorious morning sun rise higher as the revellers still going made their way to the stone circle, silhouetted against the rays. We were chatting to the Green Crafts stewards, offering water to anyone who looked in need and enjoying our nightcap.

The peace and serenity then gave way to chaos. We heard shouts, commotion and hysterical screams as we saw a blur of security wrestling with someone, chased by various teenagers and stewards. My initial assumption was that there must have been some fight or scuffle. Tara and I both rose to our feet to see what we could do to help. It then became clear this was something far worse.

As the people crashed into our space the person at the centre of things went completely limp and was placed on the grass. Her friends were screaming and crying, we fed the exhausted lead of the security team water, whilst she explained to us that the girl on the floor had taken a mixture of Ketamine and hallucinogens and was having seizures. Within a short space of time the young girl was thrashing around uncontrollably, screaming, standing up, before collapsing again. The security were trying to get her friends to talk to her or sing songs in the hope that in the fleeting moments where she was able to identify her surroundings, things might appear as normal and recognisable as possible. The girl continued to shift in and out of consciousness, medics arrived, and at some point I heard Tara saying “Matt plays guitar” and I was then asked to play. I dived into the Bell Tent, grabbed a guitar and fished out a plectrum. And I gigged.

The whole experience was harrowing. The girl continued to fall in and out of consciousness, and would occasionally stand up and partially absorb her surroundings before lapsing into another seizure, at one point lying face down in the grass kicking the ground with a speed and ferocity which was frightening to witness: she kicked so hard the sole came off one of her boots. An Ambulance arrived. Her friends thought she was dying in front of them.

I have a set of songs in my head that I play lots, if I can’t think on the hoof of what to sing: Wonderwall, To Make You Feel My Love, Three Little Birds, I Can’t Help Falling I Love With You, things like that. In the middle of Your Song, she was conscious and standing and looking into my eyes, and I stared back into hers, seeing them filled with agony, with a life or death fear; a terror, a torture. I have never seen eyes so scared. Some truths sound like they’re lies, and this is one: having got near the end of the chorus, she latched on to the last line, and sang back to me “How wonderful life is, while you’re in the world”. She was back in our world, and for us all around her that was a truly wonderful thing.

I think that was the last time that I saw her conscious.

The medics decided the time was right to place the girl into the ambulance, and I watched them carry her limp body away, blood streaming from her nose.

We sat consoling her grief stricken friends with the Green Crafts stewards, offering water and cups of tea and reassurance. The whole thing had lasted around half an hour I think, time sort of stood still. Someone asked security if they’d seen something this bad before, they shrugged, and replied “Yes”.

I am grateful for the following things:

I am most of all grateful to have heard that the girl is alive and recovering from what must have been unimaginable trauma.

I am grateful to fate that she was rescued by the Security Team who were exceptional in exceptional circumstances. They have probably saved her life.

I am grateful her friends stayed with her.

I am grateful for the support given by the Green Crafts stewards to her distraught friends.

I am grateful for the community of Green Crafts, that it was a safe space, that the Stone Masons allowed us to borrow their cups for brewing up.

I am grateful to have friends like Tara, who was in the thick of things before I’d even reacted. We have each other’s backs. With Wings on.

I am grateful to have been useful.

“Can anyone fly a plane?!”

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Marauding into Summer 2017

After an accident last year we lost our beloved caravan Lola! We were devastated when the insurers told us she had to be scrapped and even more gutted when they offered us half of its value!

So much so I couldn’t bring myself to look at new caravans for the family to do the festival season this year.

But Mr O forced me to look at one or two on ebay and before I knew it I was falling in love with lots of vintage and lovely old ladies. We had spent our savings on a super posh van with Lola and she had all the mood cons… shower, hot water, blowers and more… Mr O hadn’t wanted me to revamp her up too much either and although we did make her ours we were limited to what we did with her.  After all that fuss we lost her anyway and we had had old vans that had lasted longer.. vintage was the way to go this year.. oh and she had to be cheep!

after loosing out on a few we found a bargain van, she was going for about £300 at the time and we could see why she was so cheap, she looked clean and although a bit unloved she had potential for me to let me creative juices flow.

WE had a bid and unbelievably won her for £400!!!! amazing if she wasn’t a dud of course.

Day 1 Mr O picked he up on Saturday and arrived back home with her for lunch time. I had bought some cupboard paint and some bits and bats to get working on her, we figured we could maybe sell her straight on and find something we loved a bit more.

Within a few hours, I had painted the cupboards and Mr o had fit a new water pump in her, already she had potential. We decided to take out he bathroom and fit a log burner. The loo was a bog standard ( I know) portapotty and we could always fit one in the van or in a toilet tent, the sink only had hot water so we figured we might as well use the kitchen sink and use the space to create a lovely stove area to make the van super cosy.

Day 2; Sunday: I stapled some pom pom trim around the edges of the cupboards and stapled some £3.99 battery powered fairly lights all around making sure the switches and battery packs were by the door for when we walked in. The van does have electric but only from a hook up, we don’t always have this in a feild so Mr O set to putting in an extra battery and the solar panels that we had taken off Lola.. we now have electric without a hook up!

I nipped into town and spend about £70 of bits and bats to make her cosy, blankets and quilt covers, little ornaments, plates and cups etc .. she was starting to feel more like ours.

Day 3: I had ordered some bits from Amazon which arrived today, some tile transfers to cover the old tiles, some stick backed plastic to cover the grotty melamine tables. With a few hours fitting this in the van she suddenly started feeling like home.

Day 4 is still to come, we are cleaning up an old log burner and I have ordered a new flue pipe for it for £20 , we will go up through the sky light in the bathroom and create a chimney. I have some heat resistant paint to paint the old bathroom and rill attach a pull out dryer for clothes and socks. We will remove the door of the bathroom to stand the burner in and hopefully create some cut out panels in the walls and fid some wonder trellis grids to let the warm air our into the caravan.

By day 2 we had named her.. like with animals it meant we were attached… Molly is part of the family already and cost us less that £500! bargain!

WE have ordered some decals for the outside, she is two tone green with an orange stripe. We figured just getting rid of the orange stripe and adding a blue or white one will tidy her up.

We will add her name and some info of the business on the back.. then we should be set!

 

 

 

 

Keeping it cool with A Florida Surprise

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Williams ‘Disney savings tin’ Live on ITV

FLORIDA WITH AN ED FAMILY.

Two weeks last saturday we had a very exciting thing happen. We went LIVE on prime time TV as we were part of a surprise for our son William.

Ant and Dec flashed

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The moment of our surprise 

to us in our home and surprised our boy as he sat on the sofa with a trip for four to Florida! all expenses paid!!! WOW!!! people actually win this stuff! See our story here.

The only thing was we only had 48 hours to get ready to go!!! Visas, money, passports, packing… you name it… we had a day to get sorted!!!

One of things I wanted to do was to contact Diana at the ED society. William was diagnosed with ED just about 3 years ago and since his diagnosis we hadn’t been anywhere really hot. We had always travelled to tropical places and unknown to us we were doing lots of the things we needed to do to keep William Safe already, but it is always good to get more advise.

Ectodermal Dysplasia

ED, Ectodermal Dysplasia is a very rare genetic condition that effects many things such as hair, nails and teeth. But most importantly it effects the ability to sweat. This is more serioueds_logo_small.jpgs that you might think, and before you say ”’ ooh I wish I didn’t sweat, I bet you save a fortune in deodorant!’ well yeah thats true… but its quite a serious condition and is a huge issue for anyone especially a child.

We don’t only sweat to keep cool, we sweat when we sleep and when we are ill. How many times have you gone to bed feeling awful and that you might be getting a cold, you go to bet to ‘Sleep it off’ and as if by magic you feel better in the morning. The very concept of ‘sleeping it off’ really should be ‘sweating it off’ our bodies use sweating as a way to cleanse us of infection, virus and more, we don’t even notice it really but you will notice when you wake up in the night drenched after a cold or flu!

We get clammy when we have an infection or virus and of course we sweat buckets when we exercise and find ourselves in hot environments.

For a person with ED their bodies have to find other ways to do this, William may get a rapid heartbeat or be super short of breath if he gets a bug or simply overheats.. and believe me he gets EVERY bug going!!! ( he doesn’t sweat it out over night like us) He gets tired very easily as his body is working super hard to keep cool and the body pain he suffers can be unbearable. The biggest challenge is of course keeping him cool in hot environments. This blog is how we coped in Florida walking around Disney in 100 degrees of tropical heat with a boy ( and his dad) neither of who sweat! ( for more info about ED look here)

So… Dianna had talked to me when we spent time in Rome and she said how we could support William and Keith by using Disabled services throughout all areas. I had never considered classing William (and his dad) as disabled as we have always coped, but the more I spoke about it the more I realised how much we could be helped.

The first thing we did was get a letter from The ED society, This explained that Both Keith and William had this condition and that they needed extra support though any disabled sources provided. I put this in my bag and though I would only use this in Disney World but actually used it more than I thought.

Here is how we got on….

Airport.

We found Gatwick pretty quiet and to be honest, as prize winners we did feel very special and like VIP’s.

There are plenty of seats in the airport and its nice and cool. We were greeted with a party in the Virgin Lounge. (I believe you get access to this lounge if you book a Disney Holiday through Virgin. )

The Lounge was clean and bright and had lots of seating with complimentary drinks and helpful staff.

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Inside the lounge 

I would imagine it to be a bit noisy and busy on a normal day and do think we may make use of the free drinks and then go find a quiet corner in the airport departure lounge.

The Flight

We flew with Virgin Atlantic, now I know we were on this amazing prize but the basics still applied to us. Mostly that 9 hours is a long time on a plane!IMG_0193 but the Virgin staff really made it easy for everyone. Drinks are free and they are happy to keep providing you with water and such. They are friendly and you don’t feel like you are pestering. I know we have always flown with Thompson fLy and the staff are somiserable and you really know they don’t want to help… so you stay away from asking for anything.. not good when you need to ensure your family are catered for.

The seats have good leg room and they allow you to roam around the plane for a stretch. The plane is kept cool and there are good blowers in the roof that you can aim on each other to give a bit of extra temp control.

Arriving in The States

After a 9 hour flight to America we bumbled off the plane with the other passengers, as we sleepily found our way to the passport control we saw the huge lines of queues. We joined the end and william sat on the floor exhausted and pale. Keith was struggling too and I looked around seeing if there was a bench or something they could sit on while I kept our place in the queue. As I looked around I was the sign, ‘Disabled or Special assistance queue’ could we use that? we had a disability and we were going to be using a similar service in Disney.

I mentioned it to Keith and he expressed concerns, we weren’t in a wheel chair and didn’t look disabled.. would they question us? We had the letter in our bag and we did need support, we decided to go for it.

We guilty walked into the queue that only had two families ( in wheelchairs) and one with a little boy who seemed to have a learning disability.  No-one battered an eyelid and we went through the line smoothly and found ourselves on the air conditioned coach, everyone calm, waiting for the rest of the party to join us. Realistically we still had to wait the same time but the difference was we waited in a better environment.

Transfers

Disney had teamed up with Virgin and Itv to provide our hotel and transfers so we were shuttled to the hotel on one of their coaches. Staff were brilliant and the driver welcoming. The bus was fully air conditioned and had seat belts.

Water was available on request and there was a loo. As anyone with an ED child knows… a loo close by is very important!!!! ( all that water)

Parks

There are 6 parks on the complex all are really different and offer different vibes and activities. You can get into all these with your Park Hopper ticket/wristband.

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Epcot by night

Magic Kingdom: The original and most magical… Castles and princesses, parade and Mickey! bloody packed always and is huge!!!

Epcot: A slower paced park with more educational attractions. ( don’t forget every attraction in Disney world is bloody brilliant…) don’t shy away from this park because it hasn’t got the roller coasters and thrills… we actually find it’s our favourite. You need a full day ( if not two) to enjoy this fully

Hollywood Studios: All about films and blockbusters. some rides and loads of attractions and activities, smaller than the others but full to the brim of starwars, Mickey and cartoons.

Animal Kingdom: A slower pace like Epcot but all the attractions are excellent and awe inspiring. the live animal attractions are great and its obvious Disney take good care of their live stock!

Blizzard Beach/Typhoon Lagoon: Both are water parks but nothing like you would imagine… you feel like you have stepped into another world… shallow pools, lazy rivers and kids pool their will never believe… all themed and super wonderful.

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Exploring the posh cars at Epcot in the Test Track area.

Everything and I mean EVERYTHING in Disney world is fantastic! You never go on something and think it was rubbish! This time we didn’t go on a single roller coaster and enjoyed family rides that suited us all ( Kitty is three and William 12) honestly it is all mind blowing…

If you have a full 2 weeks you can take things slower and do every inch of the parks, maybe even do a few days finding Mickey ( a treasure hunt searching for hidden Mickey images) If you have a short time you can plan and select what you want to do.

Our Time in the Parks

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Busy Gates… use the disability assistant gate!

Our first day was a hot one and we made sure william had a swim and shower before we set out into the parks, we had water and William and Keith both wore hats and light clothing. As we arrived at Hollywood Studios it was super busy at the ticket gates. We decided to use the disability care assistantance gate and we were through in minutes.

As we got inside I sat the family on a bench and went to the Guest Services office to get our Disability Pass.

The lady came over to where the guys were sitting and set up the scheme on a hand held tablet. She took a photo of William and he tapped his electronic wrist band on the screen.

She explained how we could go to the front of a line and ask for DAS, they would then tap Williams wristband and a photo of him would come up on their screen, they would then offer us a time to return as a family. This would stay inn place the whole time of our stay.

The time given would reflect the length of the queue, so if the queue was an hour, we would be given a time to return in an hour. This helped us accept the help more as we weren’t pushing in, just not standing in the queue to save our place.

The lady was great and really made us feel welcome and supported, she didn’t question our request our condition and just got on with explaining what to do around the parks.

IMG_6393So we tried it…. we went to the first ride and the queue was an hour long, we went to the front of the queue and they happily gave us a time to return. As we walked away I heard a beep on my phone, the return time had automatically updated on my Disney app….

The Disney App and Wristbands

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Kitty wasn’t so sure… but the photo came straight back to my phone!

This is new! last time we came here, we had a card and that was it..

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Fancy wristbands that do everything!

…now we were all given fancy wristbands. These wristbands did lots of things: they opened our room door, scanned it to get into the parks, you could charge everything to your room from all over the park and you used it to scan as you entered a ride.
It all ties up to a Disney app which we all had on our phone. This app had our booking on so showed our hotel, let us book fast passes in advance, showed us what times our fast passes and DAS return times where and also sent pictures to our phone that they took on the rides.

It was all a bit clever and although I heard people saying it was all a bit BIG BROTHER…but I liked it… I don’t have anything to hide and I loved how

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The Disney app Keeps all you information in one place

everything was at my finger tips. I could literally go into the park with nothing but the kids ( although we needed to take in fans, water, share T-shirts, Calpol and suncream.. life of an ED family!!)

We found all the photo booths had been taken out of the end of the rides and instead photos would magically appear on your phone to look at . You could buy them directly from the app and charge them to your card.

Fast passes and DAS

By using Fast passes that we booked the day before and The DAS system we didn’t have to queue once. It took a bit of working out, but I could do this from our room as I lay in bed the night before.

As you return to your ride at the right time, you simply scan your wristband on the Mickey sign and it pings and lights blue letting you in. No-one knows if you are ‘disabled’ or if you have a ‘fast pass’ and this allows for you to feel comfortable that you are been assisted and not getting special treatment.

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Getting our DAS return time for the Buzz Lightyear ride.. can you spot us?

Keeping cool in the parks.

There was no doubt we landed in a bloody heat wave! a heat wave in Florida!!!! it was hot! and as we were only there for 5 days were were out the first day without having time to acclimatise to the heat.

Although we found loads of ways to keep cool we still had a some very HOT moments

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A hot moment…

But there are ways to keep cool….

Water

Disney have water fountains all over the park that are free to use, you can fill your bottles and cups with them and you don’t have to buy expensive bottles of water ( about $3 a bottle £2.40 ) although Disney don’t stop you from taking in your own food and drink which makes a change from UK theme parks who like to ensure you buy their over prized items.

Cool Spots

Everything is air conditioned!! shops, inside rides, queues, toilets… you never find yourself too far away from a cool place. Although we found ourselves with sore throats and sniffles because of the dry air and huge difference in temperatures. ( ED people often have a lack of or over production of various bodily fluids so bunged up noses and are throats are always a familiar face.. so this will probably irritate you if you have the condition.. take saline etc) We could live with that.. there is nothing more wonderful than stepping onto an air conditioned bus after a long day at the parks.

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a tired boy needing some shade

The hotel room was air conditioned too and we were able to adjust this accordingly. I found this out after waking up the first night shivering.

There were ice buckets in all the rooms too and a great communal  ice machine central to each complex of rooms( no more that 2 mins walk) They provide plastic bags to so you can fill it with ice and take it out with you.

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Ice buckets 

Water Play

There are lots of places with water too in the Parks, little play areas and splash areas, all free , inside the parks and great to stop and play for a while ( and cool down ) while waiting for your return time for a ride.

No-one feels too old in Disneyworld so even William and Keith were happy to play in the splashes.

One of the things we always have bought in Florida are the fans and refillable cups. They are super helpful for keeping everyone hydrated and cool. ( see below in ‘other things’)

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One of the many water play areas.

Evenings

Parks don’t close till late ( 9pm out of season and up to 1am in the height of summer) obviously it is cooler on an evening. So if you want to take the day easy you can enter the park at 3pm and still have a full day ahead of you. Please don’t do what we did the first time we went and get so excited we ended up spending 16 hours in the park and made ourselves so exhausted we had to spend two days in our hotel room! The your time and enjoy what you choose to do in full.

If you stay in a Disney Hotel you get the bonus of ‘extra magical hours’this gives you two extra hours without the public crowds. (Either morning 8-10 am or evening 9-11pm ( low season or 11-1am high season). Even with the thousands of hotels rooms on the complex the queues and crowds are really reduced at these times so its worth doing.

Other ideas

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Fan Sprays were great 

These spray fans are brilliant, they are like a cleaning spray bottle and instead of just a spray they have a battery operated fan too. You see kids walking around with them round their necks spraying them selves and fanning themselves as they go. there are plenty of places selling them and plenty of places to fill them too. we have used the ones we bought here 10 years ago for year here in the uk and on other holidays.. a perfect ED product.

The refillable cups are great too, they cost about $14

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Refillable cups can be filled all over the complex

dollars and are the kind of cups that keep a drink cool. There is a little chip in the bottom which is read as you place on the base of a soda fountain, you can fill it up anywhere around the complex, all eateries have them in all the parks and hotels.

They have ice machines and a selection of drinks, from water to energy drinks! even coffee and tea!.. keep an eye on the kids though… I found william hovering over the energy drink tap!!!!  But they are fab… you are never far from a cafe/takeaway or similar and you can use for as long as you stay on the complex.

Hotel

It is super expensive at the moment at Disney World, The dollar is not what it was and we found it twice as expensive as it was five years ago. We were lucky enough to have a stay in a mid range Disney hotel ( Caribbean Beach Hotel)

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The Caribbean beach Hotel

which really helped us make the most of our short stay.  But…. we worked out the costs for us to do this as a family and it would have been huge. Our Prize was worth around 12K we think ( two adults and two kids for 5 days) … we have always managed to do it for about 5k (for 6 of us for two weeks). There is no doubt it is something you need to save up for..However there are good reasons to stay on site in a Hotel if you can afford it……

The hotels are HUGE so don’t expect to feel special! saying that, staff are always up for helping. They are super clean and very very well thought out. Lots of activities for kids and adults, boat rides, fishing and Disney character appearances. I suppose if you stayed for 2 weeks you would make most of the facilities but we really wanted to enjoy the parks.

We found the best thing was how easy and quick it was to get back and forwards to the parks. Buses run frequently and are all air conditioned. It takes around 10 mins to get anywhere on the complex and buses come at the latest every 10 mins. Knowing you can get back quickly and cooly was a real comfort.

When you stay in a hotel off site ( a third of the price) or a villa, you will be driving. You need to pay $20 to park! and the carparks are huge. But its all planned out well, you park and get on a little train to the park entrance. I think it takes between 20-30 mins to actually get from parking the car to getting inside…, but it is doable and easy.

The busses stop at all parts of the hotel so you don’t have to walk to get to the stop. ( the hotel complex had 10 areas all hosting around 200 rooms in blocks) They are free and you don’t need to show a pass or anything. The driver tells you where they are stopping and you never feel rushed. Drivers are trained to help wheelchair users on and off the busses.

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Waiting for a bus in the shade 

The hotels have great aircon both in the rooms and other areas such as food halls and shops. You can escape easily. You can change this inside your room so you aren’t freezing all night.

The hotel pool was lovely, there were smaller pools in the middle of every block of rooms and a main larger pool in the main part of the hotel. Towels were provided and there was lots of shade. The staff are great and would sort out shade if everywhere was full.

The main part of the hotel had a large food hall, you could fill your cups up here from free and there was loads of ice for the taking. Water dispensers offer free water.

There are a number of shops that sell basic groceries and large bottles of Water. We bought a large bottle to fill our bottles up daily. ( the water fountains in the parks are free but do have a chemical taste to them)

We didn’t need any medical support but there is a medical centre on site.

You are allowed to use the facilities of any of the Hotels on site, so there is lots of choice of restaurants and pools.

Swimming.

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Swimming to keep cool

Disney world has two amazing water parks that are free with your tickets, you can get the free bus to them and they are brilliant for keeping cool and having fun.

They are huge so you won’t have any trouble finding shaded areas and safe areas depending on your Childs ability to swim.

The lazy river can be found at both parks and is a wonderful creating river that roams around the whole site. You grab one of the hundreds of inflatable rings and bob along until you feel like getting off.

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Well managed pools with shallow edges and free towels 

As with the other parks some of the queues are long for the slides and there are no fast passes available. we found the staff really helpful and they allowed us to skip the line.

Conclusion

I know Disneyland in Florida looks to be a very confusing and hard work holiday. But we were only there for 5 days and we had figured out all the new bits and bats within a few hours.

Don’t be afraid of visiting with an ED family. It is one of the best places you can go and rest assured everything will be perfect.

There are very few places that customer care is 100% en-point! It is perfect and you will not find anything to complain about except for the cost of things and maybe the crowds!!!

We have visited both Disney World in Florida (4 times) and Disney Land in Paris ( 3 times) and I really do believe it is cheaper to go to Florida for a fortnight than it is to go to Paris for a week! Really… look in to it.

We had a wonderful prize and it was a once in a lifetime trip with the all the bells and whistles you could ask for but on a normal holiday there are cheaper ways to do it.

Look at villas and car hire as well as other flight operators. If you can afford a Disney Hotel it is much easier and will save you lots of time and energy.  But this isn’t the only option.

I hope this has been helpful… we are back home and I still can’t believe it happened! but it did and we are still high on the magical memories we have!

A Saturday night in front of the TV. Part 1

It was a cosy Saturday evening and we had plonked ourselves in front of the Tv with our kids after a day of gardening and jobs. A usual event in our house, to sit down together and watch Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway. It is one of the only programs we all sit down and watch as a family.

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As we watched we made the usual comments about how it was so great to see the age old format that we watched as kids, curtsy of Morcambe and Wise and The Two Ronnies. We laughed at the cheesy puns and silly pranks and loved watching normal families as they were supposed in their homes.

At the end they showed a video of the prize they were giving out to 200 people over the series. A holiday in Florida! wow how lovely that would be. It set us off talking about how we were so ready for some sunshine and how we hadn’t had a sunny holiday for a good 4 years now, we had worked so hard lately and really would love a break. We were planning a camping trip over easter, so we settled with that.

Then it said they had a few more seats left on the plane and you could nominate someone by sending an email. I didn’t think about it again until on the Monday I was cleaning and came across the savings tin that Kitty and William had been putting money in religiously for our next Disney trip. I quietly mulled over the prize and though, why not apply… someone has to win and our kids really needed some fun.

So I did….. I wrote the email and explained about the tin and about who we were. I clicked send and forgot all about it until a message pinged back in inbox. They wanted more information could they call me…

Over the next four days I spoke to producers, researchers, I sent the tin down to the studios and filled in form and form, contract after contract! They still wouldn’t say if we would defiantly be a winner but the plan was laid out.

They would come to our house on saturday and set up a secret camera in the tv, William would have to leave the house while they did it so not to suspect. They would flash to us live in our living room and surprise William by showing his savings tin and telling his he was going to Florida.

It wasn’t until Saturday morning when the producer turned up at our door that we really thought this could happen. I managed to get William out of the house to his friends and we ran around like crazy people as we set up the house for them to film. All the time we were getting ready for our friends 40th Birthday Party in the next city, I was planning and running it for him and had to go and set it all up ready. So I was running around like a loon and the day passed in a flash.

7pm came and we had got ourselves ready to go to Matts party, we called william down and told him we were going as soon as we had watched the show so he needed to be ready. William wanted to play a game on the Xbox so we lied and told him his uncle Neil would be on the show and we wanted to watch.. so he sat with us excit3edly.

All the time, the producers and sound man were hidden in our bedroom! The producer kept texting me.. ‘Move to one side’ ‘ don’t let Kitty touch the tv’ ‘tell Libby to move out of shot’ ( the prize was only for 4 , so the girls weren’t able to come with us!!!’

Then it happened… the tin flashed on screen held by Dec, the camera came on us and we were live to 8 million people! Thank god I had had time to vacuum the floor! William’s face was a picture! he was in total shock and sat with his mouth wide open looking at me for confirmation! before we knew it, it was over, we were booking a taxi and leaving to the Party….

Bizarre….. William was in shock and couldn’t believe what was happening… we were too… as we walked into the party we just carried on as normal, no-one saw it as they were all at the party.. so no-one knew. The only reminder was the beeping of our mobiles and our friends and family text and messaged us with total excitement.

Our facebook page, email and text messages were full of our friends and family who were just so excited for us, work friends and clients emailed us and we felt very very loved!

When we left the party, we came home with some friends and we watched the show for the first time. It was so very exiting and it kind of started to feel real… all I needed to do know was get ready to go to Florida in just under 48 hours!

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How Freudian theory predicts a civil war after Trump and Brexit. 

I Written the morning Trump won the election .

I woke up this morning to snow! If the snow had been sun I could have easily mistakes to the month as June! The same feeling of disparity and disappointment hung in the air just as it did as we woke up at the Glastonbury festival to find us leaving Europe in June. 

But as always I got thinking….When I was at university studying psychotherapy,  I was very interested in Freudian theory. Most of all the writing of Totem and Taboo. I got to thinking how it is SOOOO relevant in the world right now as we battle racism and purism… stay with me….

Don’t worry I’m not gonna get all clever and start quoting Freud and expecting you to know what I’m on about.. so here is the theory in a nut shell ….

There was a story about a brother who was cross with his dad, so cross he wanted to kill him! ( extreme I know)  but knew it was wrong to kill your own dad! ( dur… you don’t say)  HE WAS MAD but he didn’t and had no intention of killing his dad… cos it was wrong! 

But over time his brothers also fell out with their dad and after numerous chats where they moaned together about their dad, it turned out that they all wanted to kill him ! Cripes! They talked it through and they agreed that if they all wanted to kill him it can’t have been wrong! 

Anyway …the point was that as soon as the group all wanted to kill him it became ok, their moral code kind of changed and they  could justify killing their dad!  after all everyone else wanted to do it too!!! So they couldn’t be wrong and it wasn’t their fault! 

So they killed the dad! 

The point of the theory is that on their own they’d never have done it! They’d never have found the self justification to allow them to go ahead and Killed daddy! 

But as a group, where they all felt the same , it gave them strength, not just physically but emotionally and morally ! Their feelings of hate towards him were validated  by the others and it gave them permission to join in the dirty deed! Without guilt! 


So why is this relevant now? Well Angry , frightened and upset people  are very unpredictable as we know,  so as soon as they are blessed with the realisation that they are not alone in their powerful feelings and they are not wrong , they are able to feel strengthened by the knowledge they are not alone and MUST BE RIGHT! 

This realisation gives people permission to openly show their anger and behave in ways that alone the couldn’t have done so  easily and safely. We don’t need to look so far to see many examples of this! 

Think about bullies? Never so strong when they are without their gang , football hooligans rarely fight alone, kids at school rarely misbehave without others playing along with them….

I think about Brexit and now with Trump… as soon as folks with such angry and passionate thoughts and feelings ‘win’ a voice they start to behave openly in a way they never did before. 

All of a sudden those with racist and sexist or whatever other ‘ists are relevant have been told that they are not alone! In fact they are in a majority! They are safe to speak out.. they have strength as a group to act in a way they could never do on their own! 


We have seen a huge rise in openly racist attacks in the uk since the Brexit victory gave them a voice and now with Trump taking the wheel,  we are seeing the same and more.. racism, sexism, body shaming, greed and aggression to ‘outsiders’ has be given the green light!  There is a certain giddiness to express something which was previously frowned upon.

People have been told ( indirectly) they are in their right to hate and abuse! And it is only going to spread across the globe… all those who realise they have a band of like minded brothers will draw strength from them and act! 

As half of the country here and across the pond furiously feel the ‘opposite’ of these ‘winners’ and totally mourn the loss of humanity and as our anger and fear will grow, together  too we will too come together to fight. Will we ( the anti Trump and pro Europe and free movement) join our brothers (and sisters) and act in a way we could never do on our own? 

What permission will we give ourselves as a group to protect our beliefs? Just like them? Just like the Freudian brothers? How far will our fear and numbers take us? 

Splitting countries and nations into two camps of such very opposite sides of the coin is a very dangerous thing, we have created two strong groups of now powerful opposite voices… 

So what , where and when will they agree to kill ? 

Who or what will be the father? 

Which group will decide to act first? 

Maybe the now openly expressed hatred towards muslims, Mexicans, Jewish, polish, refugees, inegrants…( oh the list goes on….)that is now freely acted upon by the Trupexit brotherhood will create the justification for these oppressed  communities to join together in a mutual brotherhood too? 

Will the oppressed join the fight within their group  strength based on anger and fear? Ironically becoming more dangerous that they were ever accused of being in the first place!!!!!

 Their joint strength allowing and justifying attack?

What about gay men and women? Will they find their collective inner Freudian brotherhood too? 

Will they find strength and justification to loose their moral code and attack too? 


What about women? 

We’ve seen women joining together already.

Will they find their inner Freudian brotherhood too? 

Will they justifying attack as a group ?

Will they behave in a way as a group they would never behave in alone? 

As recent shows of democracy has stood in the form of two sides of the coin… polar opposites to each other. 

Right or left

In or out

Controlled or free

Catholic or Protestant 

United or City

Yorkshire or Lancashire

Rich or poor

Girl or boy

Black or white

Trump or Clinton

Etc 

Etc

Etc

So are  two groups of angry frightened Freudian botherhoods forming? 

How many other brotherhoods are within them? 

As anger grows and the brotherhoods strengthen through fear and despair,  it is only a matter of time before our actions spill over into the streets and we all kill our fathers. 

As we fight against our own community, brothers and sisters, families and friends we will believe it’s ok, because we are not alone.. we have strength to do what alone we could never carry out. After all There is no I in team! 

This year has divided the world.. 

I have no answers or crystal ball but as Freud illustrated, a  group of people with likeminded anger have a voice and it’s not just a voice… it’s a desperate wail ! …  they will be heard and seen and it won’t be pretty !

When in Rome

IMG_3841.jpgLast February I had the most random of emails. It was an email from the ED society asking us if we would like to go to Rome on behalf of the Uk society to meet the Pope with other ED families from across the world! Well that doesn’t happen very often does it???

Needless to say we jumped at the chance. To be honest I didn’t quiet believe it would happen and I don’t think anyone else we told believed us either…. I mean meet the pope? us ? really?

As the trip came closer we started receiving emails from the organiser of the trip in Italy, we were to all stay in a large hotel on the outskirts of Rome and there would be various social events happening. It all began to feel very real.

A month before we were due to depart I had an even more random email, I really didn’t think the former could be beaten but I was wrong. We were asked to bring a gift to present to the Pope. Yes… I know…. what on earth does one give to the most holiest man on earth? After much discussion and support I finally worked out what I as going to take..  Rev Shelagh ( our family vicar and friend) had advised how His holiness was very passionate about reaching out to those in need particularly at the time he was reaching out to the refugees.  I wanted to think about giving something symbolic and relevant to us as a family, having a link to the results of war as well as placing a human face to it.

I have an old case full of my grandfathers old letters, books and papers from his time fighting in the second world war and one of the items that came to my mind was his soldier book. The tiny leather bound book has a page at the front where he wrote out the lords prayer. The writing is beautiful and albeit faint it shows how important his faith was during this dangerous part of his life. I copied the page and printed it out, framing it with a photo of Grandad as young man and one of William, I am an artist by trade so it was a pleasure to create a lovely piece of art work with my family heirlooms.

I was having to travel alone with William ( 11) and Kitty (3) I am pretty good at travelling and I am always the lead when we go anywhere as a family. But Id never travelled abroad with the children with out my husband and we had never really split up as a family either. I was going to miss them all terribly and I was so sad they couldn’t join us on such an important life event for us.

(We are a large family, I married my husband 23 years ago and we have since have four children: Libby (18) not an ED carrier and was busy working, Grace ( 16) an Ed carrier but has just started at Leeds College of Art and it was too soon to take time off. Keith of course need to stay at home to look after them while I took William an ED carier and Kitty who we suspect is a carrier also.)

IMG_3713.jpgSo the day came, The gift packed, the clothes ironed and stowed in my case, we set off to the airport. Landing in Rome we trundled excitedly though the terminal and straight out through security with no problem ( the joys of hand luggage) we jumped in our organised private transfer and enjoyed our ( rather hair raising journey) to the hotel.

The hotel, The Church Village, was a real contradiction in terms. The reception building was modern and bright, but the outside was typically Italian. Simple and reminding me of a youth hostel. I soon realised it was a hotel for pilgrims, a simple accommodation especially for those travelling to worship at papal mass. This brought home  the enormity of the trip and I really think William picked up on it too.

After a quick drop off of our bags, we set off to the bus stop. We were catching the bus into the centre to meet the other ED families at the vatican museum. As we arrived at the meeting place we saw a family who’s children obviously had the ED traits. We hadn’t even been to any of the gatherings with the ED group and therefore hadn’t come across anyone like us. It was quite a heart stopping moment as we approached them but within a few minutes we had been introduced to around 5 or 6 other families from around the world, all with ED and all excited to be on this trip of a life time.

We entered the museum and had a long wait while the tickets and passes were sorted out. It seems the Italians don’t have the same approach to organisation as us Brits, and although the end aim is always reached there tends to be some chaos and waiting around first. This turned out to be an on going theme of the week but it was endearing and kind of added to the atmosphere .

As we were waiting in the busy reception area, William started to flag. It had been a long day already, we had only flown in in the morning and now the hour and half wait was starting to take its toll. I made an executive decition to take William and Kitty back to the  Hotel and rest. After all we had a very big day tomorrow and we needed to ensure we had all our energy. Apparently the families had a wonderful time at the museum and we are still gutted we missed the Sistine chapel , but hey… we were going to see the pope  in the morning!.

We arrived back at the hotel, we grabbed a bowl of pasta in the reception, I had a beer and we bought ice creams to take back to the room. The kids showered and I managed to find an english cartoons channel for them to watch while I got everything ready for morning.

As I realised I needed an iron to give everything a once over, I called reception to find this basic of all hotels didn’t have one.. agh!!!! I ended up snuggling up with the kids while the shower steamed out clothes for morning.

We work up Early and excited, all dressed in our finery we made our way to the dining rooIMG_4005.jpgm for breakfast. What a shock we had to find the quiet hotel had turned into a buzzing mass of pilgrims,
Vicars, nuns and hundreds of groups proudly supporting the national colours huddled in groups everywhere we looked.

The atmosphere was electric as we grabbed our breakfast, we spotted some of the other ED families all dressed ready  for our special day.

After breakfast we gathered the gifts we had brought and met with the other families to wait for our coach. We took photos or each other and I was touched by the support everyone gave me as I struggled with the children and the pushchair. It was a hard moment, seeing all the families and I felt really lonely, missing the rest of our family. But the excitement took over and we settled on the coach on our way to the vatican.

As we arrived the crowdsIMG_3764.jpgIMG_3770.jpg were huge! it was a daunting moment as we ( a large group) tried to stay together ( with the Italian lack of organisation) We had to go through a different entrance to the crowds, passing through airport style security and bumbling through to our area at the front of St Peters square.

I don’t really want to talk too much about the morning as it was simply so very special and been in the company of his holiness was emotional and wonderful. William and I were moved to tears and neither of us will ever forget it. no amount of words will explain the moment.

When mass started we were sat right at the front of the audience so we were really in the thick of it. But I had to have a little laugh at us allIMG_3779.jpg, as the sun creeped around to shine on us, I turned to see all the ED families frantically feeding the children water and stripping off their layers. Oh the joy of not been alone! For once in our life we were one of many.. what a wonderful feeling.

We came away from St Peters square emotional and hungry. Thankfully we were ferried back to the bus and driven out of the city to a farm style restaurant, were we enjoyed a wonderfully rustic meal in the shade of a barn.

TIMG_3816.jpghe children ran around the meadow together and parents were able to chat and share notes of how they were coping with the children with the condition.

IMG_3825.jpgI learned loads! We have been coping alone since we got our diagnosis and it was great to hear from families with much more experience. We were coming away with lots of knowledge and support.

The day after our big day we spent the day exploring Rome, the kids and I grabbed a tour bus pass and we hopped on and and off the bus at the various sites.

IMG_3832.jpgWhat an adventure!!! Not only did we go see the pope but we met so many other families from across the globe all like us. How wonderful it as for William to meet other children like him and to become the majority rather than the minority for a change.

15 Lazy New Years Eve Party Tips. For a middle aged lazy and frugal Cowbag.

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Ok so I’m in my 40’s and we don’t want a Rave or Orgy anymore… we also don’t want ( can’t be arsed) a formal dinner party or cocktail party….Similarly I’m not planning on the house been filled with drunken 20 somethings throwing up in my plant pots and snogging each other … but I do want to do New Year and I am having a house full again at new year..

I want my friends around me, I want a laugh and I want us all to be together without anyone getting stressed out…

I’m a prolific lazy Cowbag so know how to make things easy, cheap and effective!

Here are my  tips to a lazy and effective middled aged party.

15- Only invite people you know and like.

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You really don’t have to invite anyone just to be polite… your house your rules.

Inviting people you know well and who can relax and have fun with while knowing they won’t steal your family silver or fall asleep in your bath.

We all have relatives and friends that need keeping apart or they’d be falling out with everyone about football , Brexit or the finer details of Fracking. Its ok to choose who you want to spend time with… its not a crime.

14-Don’t start too early.

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If you start the party at 7pm you have 5 hours to kill before the new year hits…people will all stay for the new year and thats the crux of the night, start at about 9pm, you have time to have a drink and get giddy without getting blotto and losing guests to sleep

13- Tell everyone (not ask) to bring booze! 

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If you ‘ask’ your guest to “feel free to bring a bottle” … you don’t know if they will or not…will you have enough????  The risk of running out of booze on new years eve is the stuff of nightmares, so you will end up buying it all anyway ‘just in case’.

 You will have to buy everything.. beer (lager and bitter) wine (all colours) cider, spirits, mixers and juices… if you state “bring enough booze for yourself and we will share” it’s friendly and direct.

Make it clear that everyone should bring booze!!!.. I normally say “Bring enough booze for yourself and we can all share it” Do this and you will only need to buy what you will drink yourself… you always end up with loads left over too! always a bonus!

12: Make it a joint effort with food with a healthy dose of competition! 

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Tell everyone you are having a food competition, tell them to bring either a sweet or savoury and hold a vote at the end of the night. 

Our table is like something from Master Chef and Great British Bake Off on New Years Eve,

We all love trying to impress each other with food and skills… we love to share food and  and we totally love laughing at disasters too!!!

Offer silly prizes and different awards, It’s great fun and everyone shares their skills and you’ll have a feast without spending all day in the kitchen and spending a bomb at Asda.

11- Make life easy for clearing up!

il_fullxfull.356753869_6lio.jpgUse paper plates, bowls and cups/glasses, tie bin bags everywhere and just keep filling them… it will make life so much easier in the morning.

When folks say ‘do you need help’ say yes !

10- Atmosphere and Decor

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Easy! You will still be decorated from Christmas, so add candles in containers everywhere and turn off the lights to add atmosphere. Have different music in each room so there is a different vibe in each place… its easy. ( see Getting outside below)

9-Get outside

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Open the garden up, build a camp fire, put out deck chairs, cover with blankets and cushions  pull the benches close and put rugs son the floor over tarps… pile up blankets and throws and fill the garden with candles in jars… if you know musicians get them to bring their instruments and you will find the house will be empty! An idea to warn guests to come in warm clothing.

8- Crap fireworks 

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It’s obligatory at our house that our fireworks are really shit! 

It’s hilarious waiting for them to go off and do something and then watching the kids laugh historically when you adults all pretend it’s the best thing you’ve ever seen! Lots of frantic oohs and ahhs as well as over-dramatic reading of the names and descriptions on each firework.. one year we were setting chit fireworks off one by one for an hour…

NB; This year we have some good ones.. we are all disappointed! 

7- Involve the teens and let them invite a friend.

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It is important for teens to see adults having a good time without taking drugs or getting absolutely blotto. They love feeling equal to adults older than them and they engage really well when given the chance. If they are shy or need some back up, let them bring a friend, it will keep them happy and comfortable. Ask the parents what their rules on alcohol consumption is if they are under 18. We allow our 15 year old a couple of drinks with us, but not all parents do… its good to be clear of what their expectations are or you will end up with a teen ‘spreading their wings’ big style and you sending them home to Mum and Dad with an empty tesco bag (just in case)

6- Invite the little kids with their parents.

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No need to keep the kids with babysitters, let them join in! They can sit and enjoy the campfire, join in the daftness.. they love been involved in adult conversation and adore it when they see their adults been silly! 

When they get tired, they can bring pjs and go to bed… make a bedroom up for them all, cushions, blankets and mattresses, bowls of sweets and a number of dvds… if there are loads and they are all different ages they will look after each other. These are the parties that make memories for life.

5- Countdown to Big Ben on Radio 4.

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Forget your cheesy tv countdown.. get outside and turn radio 4 up loads.. we all have fond memories of listening to the bongs of Big Ben on a crackling radio… and if you are outside, when it does turn midnight you can pop corks and let off streamers without worrying about the mess. Just sweep it all up the next day… or the next week…

Also you probably all have more room outside to all be together and not spread over various rooms in the house… and of course you can enjoy the fireworks too.

4- Acknowledge your traditions and share with your friends.

 

My husband is half Irish and half Italian.. he has two traditions we now do every year and now our friends adore playing along. 

First one (Italian) is that you must be outside to see in the new year and the first person to enter the house must take in wood (for fuel) and silver (for money) at our house now, all our friends cheer when one of our kids goes through the door with the package…

Secondly we have new year fairies (Irish) the children put their slippers under the Christmas tree when they go to bed and the new year fairy fills them with treats for when they wake! 

3- Invite everyone to stay! 

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It may fill you with dread but folks will be greatful for the offer and not having to drive or pay expensive cab fees.

Tell them to bring air beds and bedding and fit them where you can. If you are a close friendship group like us, you’ll have a great time ‘indoor camping’ 

Also it allows everyone to really relax, we often end up sitting playing cards or watching videos till dawn, we get the left overs out and if some wants to go to bed they can… it’s much easier to just move in and have fun…everyone relaxes.

We like people feel at home, and having somewhere to go and have some peace and quiet through the night is really important to helping people relax. I generally try and show folks to their rooms before they party so they can set up home and feel like it belongs to them for the day.

2- Mornings are special

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New Years morning is just as special for me, we put the Radio on and sit around eating breakfast, drinking copious amount of tea and have a generally gentle time. It’s a lovely way to start the year.

1- don’t be afraid to relax and have a great time! .

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You don’t have to be the perfect host.. in fact if you serve and offer all night folks will feel formal and less welcome.. I always say.. ” I serve the first drink then you help yourself” it breaks the ice and instantly give folks permission to treat your home like their own. 

I don’t invite anyone I don’t trust or don’t love dearly, so I don’t have to worry about my house or belongings as I know my friends will all treat my home like their own. 

So you have to relax and enjoy too or what’s the point in spending time with everyone. Remember everyone is capable of looking after themselves so let them just do that! 

Have a great time and Happy new year!!!!

The Christmas morning police have arrived!  A guide for parents! 

So Christmas morning is no rush! We go to the bathroom, feed the cats, make brews and even tune in the radio… anything will do.. as parents it’s our duty to be downright difficult and slow on Christmas morning! 

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If you are new to the ‘parenting at Christmas’ thing then feel free to introduce these rules for the kids! 

The Christmas morning police have arrived!!!! …..

So here are ……

The O’Brien Family guidelines to children on Christmas Morning

1) You can open stockings in your beds or with each other ( do not feel the need to wake us) 

2) Do not wake us till at least 7.30am

3) we WILL make you wait before we go downstairs. Be prepared to be told to go away a minimum of six times .

4) Daddy will always go to the bathroom and keep you waiting in the kitchen listening for the toilet to flush. Mummy will make a brew, feed the cats and phone grandma before allowing you to enter the living room.

5) We will NOT enter the living room until we are ALL together and ALL have a brew in our hands.


6) Gifts (if Father Christmas brings any) will be in ordered piles, you must find your pile and wait instruction to proceed.

7) You must check the tray we left out for Santa before proceeding with any gift opening.

8) on receiving a gift…Always read the card and not just in your head.. we want to know what you received and from who too. 

9) Put wrapping paper in the bin bag provided by your gifts. 

10)Pile opened gifts neatly in your given area. You will be asked throughout the day to tidy up and return things to this pile.


Advice to parents after the opening

So what happens when they’ve done? It’s all unwrapped and they are quietly and happily playing with their ‘stuff’ 

Well my advice is to follow our lead, we will slope off to the kitchen, make brews and toast and bugger off back to bed till they’ve noticed we’ve gone! 

After all you are gonna be busy all day.. you need and deserve to gain some strength ! And.. it’s the only time in the whole year they don’t disturb you for a good few hours! Unless of course they need batteries.. or something taking out of a box, or instructions reading.. or a screw driver to open a battery pack.. my advice? …. create a little bag with a screw driver, various batteries, your reading glasses and chocolate.. this way they come to you and you don’t need to move..,

 the chocolates?…. are for breakfast! … it is Christmas!
Enjoy xxxx 

Halloween ! Stop making it into something scary! 15 reasons that proves Halloween is great!

Well I have seen so many posts and blogs telling me all about how Halloween is such a terrible thing so I decided to stand up for Halloween by answering the points made!

1Halloween goes against my Christian beliefs

Ok so dressing kids up as witches, goblins and Dracula is worshipping the devil? I think not… halloween traditionally recognises the dead ..it has evolved to do this by dressing as modern ‘spooky’ and ‘undead’ characters .  There are many celebrations and traditions over the globe that use the imagery of ‘the dead’ or ‘evil’ in their rituals. Acknowledging the darker characters in our traditions is just part of our heritage . My friend is a vicar and I asked her about her thoughts..she laughed and said ” there is a big difference between children dressing up as ghosts and ghouls to children actively worshiping and glorifying evil” she is right too! I am a Christian and I can safely say dressing up as a witch or monster doesn’t affect my faith in anyway!

2- Its begging

Really? How can it be begging when homes actively go out and buy sweets and candy to give out as well as place a pumpkin in the window to illustrate they are taking part. 

Begging is asking for money or items for no other reason that personal need ( albeit often desperate) knocking on doors all dressed up and taking a pre prepared treat is hardly the same! 

3- it’s another pagen celebration that’s been taken over and spoiled! 

Like Christmas? And all the other nutty traditions we have… it’s called history and culture ! When things evolve from its origins into something else influenced it’s simply the world creating new celebrations and cultural rituals. Christmas 50 years ago was a very different affair, it has just evolved to what we know now, new traditions are developed organically through different communities and every generation brings its own take on it. Just as Easter, mayday, whit Sunday ( this doesn’t even happen anymore) bonfire night, mischief night, New Year’s Eve? All these celebrations and rituals have either grown, changed or fizzled out… its history in the making and how the world works. 

Pretty much everyone puts up a tree and exchanged gifts at Christmas regardless if they are practising christians, it’s the same thing…  

4- children shouldn’t  be scared or frightened.

Ok then if your kids get scared easy don’t take them anywhere scary! I have a three year old who this year dressed as a pink witch and went around her neighbours knocking on doors with us. I didn’t  take her to a zombie warehouse scare fest and didn’t dress her in a butchered zombie costume… our neighbours were kind and gentle with her and any bigger kids refrained from jumping out on her.

Believe it or not most people know how to behave! 

We did do some gentle scaring tho.. saying boo to our trick or treaters and scaring Daddy with torches lighting our faces… there is a difference between engaging kids in the stuff of nightmares to a few gentle bumps and jumps…

5- ‘I’m not having kids knocking on my door all night‘ 

Ok well it’s not obligatory just don’t get involved. But ask yourself why? Communities are not what they were because people don’t get involved in things like this! 

I walked around my street and talked to people I’d never seen before.. or people I only see at Halloween…I welcomed children and families to my home and we enjoyed sharing joy among our community.

It lasted about two hours, by 8pm it was all done… some of the older generation were obviously enjoying seeing the children visit them all dressed up and all in all it was so enjoyable. 

You don’t have to join in, but if you didn’t you missed out… it was such fun.

6– ‘the kids have gone out but I closed the curtains and hid.. they better not knock on my door’ 

So you let your children get involved and watch as they enjoy visiting members of your community collecting treats… but you don’t give any thing back to your community yourself? 

Mmmm really? 

My favourite were the houses that for years didn’t join in and moved into the back of the house every Halloween to avoid the kids knocking for treats.. then all of a sudden their child is old enough to want to join in and they are all dressed up , house decorated and knocking on your door!!! Community is life long guys! You can’t just take the cream off the top!!!! 

7– it’s commercialised

You mean you can buy cool stuff these days? Hell yeah! It’s ace! 

When I was a kid you couldn’t get anything! A plastic mask that cracked immediately and scratched your face and a carved turnip! I would have loved all the stuff you can get now! 

From costumes to props! It’s all super fab! Yeah to commercialism !  

Btw I only bought pumpkins and a witch costume for my lot! We have in the past gone mad and decorated the whole house and had a party tho it was super fun! 

Just remember you don’t have to buy stuff!

8- It’s American

Well not really… we have always had Halloween it’s just more popular in America and they make more effort …we are following suit… we are just a bit late catching up.

Just to point out that the ‘Santa’ we see now in red clothes is from America , Christmas trees are from Norway , baubles and gingerbread are from Germany and it was the Norwegians that started the Christmas tradition of gift delivering by Santa.

We collect ritual and tradition from across the globe over history .. it makes up our diverse cultures! 

We don’t have to boycott things because other countries did them first…. it is 2016! Surely your not saying if America does it we shouldn’t? 

9– the clubs are full of young people in inappropriate and frightening costumes.

Oh dear.. maybe stay at home this weekend. 

Great excuse to dress up though if you fancy a change from the usual short skirts and heels! 

10- it’s all over the internet, Facebook and twitter have been going on about it for weeks! 

That because people have been getting excited for it. When people are giddy they post and share stuff. 

There has also been tons of stuff about the American election too… now that’s a real nightmare! Firstly it’s American and it involves real life scary and evil characters and they are all begging and trying to manipulate people… cripes I think they should ban it! … 

11- kids are wondering the streets in the dark on their own..it’s not safe! . some are causing trouble! 

Well I guess it’s the safest time to go out as a child on your own… with the streets so busy with children and families and doors opening and closing all the time. It’s great kids can use this night as a practise for when they inevitably have to be alone in the outdoor world! 

It’s a shame some kids cause trouble …. but it happens… let’s hope the masses of non trouble causing Halloween goers make the odd trouble causer feel too self conscious to be naughty! 

12- full families are dressed up and going door to door.!!!!

Aw how nice ! Love to see families getting silly together..spending time together and going out together….this will surely make you happy as you don’t want to see kids out on their own causing chaos?!

Stop moaning, stop looking for negativity and join in.. you never know you might have fun.

Papal preparations 

So we go in the morning! I am totally in prepared but tbh there’s not too much to do! 

Bit of a crisis bank  money wise, my bloody back card was pushed through the cheese grater ( don’t ask) so of course it won’t scan and I need to get a new one . This takes 5 days and I go tomorrow! 

So it looks like I’m carrying cash! Fingers crossed it’s all ok! I’m sure I can use some of dads techniques for distributing it.

I’ll be spending the time ironing, packing and tidying today. Hopefully I’ll get a good nights sleep as I need to drag the kids up and out to set off at 4am !