why do we have to consider what we share with the world on Facebook? The amount of times folk say “you need to be careful what you post” or “I don’t want to post too much” I try to work out why we think about it and I realised its not about safety or keeping stuff private it’s all about worrying about other people judging us.
Is it ok to put pictures of your kids, your meals, your holiday, your every thought? Well I think yes if you want!
I’ve been hinted at that I post ‘all the time’ and it’s been suggested I’m ‘showing off’ or ‘boring’ . I thought about it and I realised that the people who were saying this weren’t actually the people I was posting for.. They weren’t my intended audience!
If they don’t want to read my posts because they find them boring or they annoy them , then why are they stopping to read them! Why don’t they just scrim past?
I posted a post not long ago saying just that ” if this bores you then it’s not intended for you.. Move along” I mean it too, I’m not going to spend time adapting my audience list every time I post so not to offend anyone… I am posting as a way of keeping in contact with my friends and family not to keep relative strangers informed of my daily life.
My family are spread across the UK and I live in a town where I don’t really have friends and I certainly don’t have family here. I only have my mum and she lives a forty min journey away in traffic, so we are lucky to see her once a fortnight.. Keiths family are all over the world , most over the hills in Manchester but they also have a section in London and Australia too! They are a close family and would love to see more of the kids.. Just like my mum! But , like our friends who all live across the UK, they can’t , we are all busy and live away from each other.
Posting about the children, the house , work and even funny things we saw or heard keeps us part of our lives and they , like I , value that greatly! I want to be part of their day and then to be part of mine.. This is the way we do it! By stating what’s happening day to day! Hour to hour!
Before social media the only time we would see family and close friends would be at parties and gatherings. Often not getting chance to spend more than a passing kiss and some catch up pleasantries. Years would pass and you wouldn’t know anything about their day to day lives, their dreams and adventures.
Facebook is great for keeping part of people’s day to day life! We are actually close to people who we otherwise wouldn’t see perhaps for months of years! I see nieces , nephews and God children growing and achieving daily, my comments or even just a ‘like’ keeps me attached to them! And part of their life! They know who I am., it’s inportant to me!
We can support our friends, be part of their achievements, sorrows and daily grind! When you do catch up you can cut out the ‘getting back up to date’ conversations and jump straight into been friends ! How wonderful!
A few months ago I posted something about Keith’s family, I said how proud I was to be part of them and other stuff like that..a relative , who I haven’t seen or spoken to in over 6 years commented on it and publicly accused me of splitting his family up and causing him and his wife pain. I was mortified, not only was it untrue… (This person split himself up from his family by doing things like this! ) but it upset everyone, the whole family who had been excitedly commenting and enjoying the banter just dried up and went away. I deleted the post so no one else could see it and tried to ignore it ever happened. We mentioned this incident to another family member, talking about how inappropriate it was to post grievances in public rather than talking about them in person. The person we talked to doesn’t have Facebook and said that this was why.. Because it caused so much trouble!
I got to thinking was she right? Does it cause trouble? Is it a dangerous platform to be used for evil?!? But it isnt Facebook causing the trouble it is the people using it! Just just like in any social situation ,everything is cool until someone comes along and says something hurtful or untrue. It’s exactly the same, if folks want to argue.. They will.. If they want to walk away … They will.. I chose to walk away that time ! One can’t argue with the deluded after all!
What damage does the above behaviour do ? Like any situation of bullying or public humiliation or trouble.. It pushes people to be quiet. Many people don’t post anything on Facebook because they simply think everyone is judging everything they put! It’s typical victim behaviour.., if someone tells you you are not worthy you believe it and you consciously watch everything you do and say! So you end up silently watching everyone from the sidelines, you get bitter because your not part of it and become paranoid and sensitive to everything you read. It’s not fun! I know folks who check Facebook daily but never post anything and rarely comment, they don’t allow folks to post on their wall or tag them in photos they just look around.. Watch from the sidelines.. Keeping an eye on everything but never getting involved. Silenced by the fear of judgment! That’s not good!
So anyway..if I post about my building work or my holiday or my new shoes…it’s because I’m excited, or want to tell you about something …I’m not posting ‘everything’ for you to read! And I’m not ‘showing off’ .. I’m just ‘showing’ you.. You don’t have to look or even be interested . That’s the great thing about Facebook , unlike in a real life situation, if you aren’t interested in something someone said to you, you can just walk away without any explanation! It’s not rude! *
It’s the age of communication so how folks can complain about not knowing what we are up to defys me 🙂
*(Mind you if you remove yourself from a group chat without explaination you really will look rude! I know there is another blog post about the etiquette of Facebook! For instance when you tag people in your posts so you know they will read them and they ‘NEVER’ like or comment… EVER! they then will tell you the ‘saw it on Facebook when you bring the posted subject up in conversation’ bloody hell! Acknowledge stuff then and save me saying stuff twice to keep you up to speed!!!! 🤔)