On the Quest for My Bed Soul Mate!!! oooh errr missus!@!@

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After spending the whole of my married life obsessing on creating the perfect bed (like the one on our honeymoon) …A sumptuous hotel bed that literally hugged the hell out of us the moment we climbed in. (I’d like to say it was the start of a first wedded night of bliss…. but to be fair we were so knackered  after the long day of smiling and wearing posh clothes.. it took us 4 whole days to make our vows legal!)

Well after 25 years of searching for my perfect bed that even came close to our honeymoon bed of dreams but now……  I finally found the holy grail !

I know!

….but this is big news for a 45 year old woman.. can you believe I used to get my thrills from nightclubbing and drinking copious amount of alco-pops at illegal raves (and all the treats they would bring) Rock and Roll baby.. it all about the bed these days!!!

So over the years I have worked hard on my search, finally plumping for the Eve mattress, Soak and Sleep silk filled pillows, an amazing feather and down duvet and the most glorious silk and microfibre mattress topper you can ever imagine!!!!.

Our bed is, we realise, an understated grown up and constant support and comfort..but the actual bedding and sheets where still unfound..

I have tried lots of different sheets and duvet covers to bring the combo together, from decorative prints, white lace, fleece covered, high and low thread count and everything in-between… realising that the only way forward is plain and super high thread count. But although I have some amazing sheets ( mostly from Soak and Sleep) they were never quite hitting the ‘honeymoon spot’.

Just before Christmas I spent a LOT of money on some bedding from a high end hotel range..The same hotel that provided us with that dream bed of years gone by.. I saved up for a few years for it and finally went for it just before Christmas as a gift to us to celebrate our silver wedding anniversary..

The plan was we finally returned to our honeymoon bed of dreams and our silver wedding anniversary would be the moment that we returned to those lazy hotel days.. ( I say ‘we’ but my husband is so over this obsession… (he could literally get comfy for sleep stood up in a storm barefooted on a bed on nails)

I couldn’t wait.. it was imported from France… Paris no less!!! the excitement was tangible..( well in my head anyway) When it arrived I unwrapped the tissue paper and removed the silk pouch of lavender that graced and adorned each individual piece.. I really did feel like I had something special….. I could not wait to get them on the bed… I felt like a 22 year old Parisian lady… opening her luxurious purchases with class and pretended that is was a normal occurrence that I received such luxury… ” this is normal for me’ I said to my invisable audience.

 Oh the disappointment!

Up to now the bedding set have been washed 5/6 times, I have tried all kinds of fabric softener and even bought a special cashmere softening solution to do the job…. but… they are still very scratchy!
They are still really stiff and you can hear the rustle as I spread it over my glorious cloud like mattress topper… I don’t want a rustle.. I want to hear the sound of a sigh.. a sigh that floats up from the silky smooth fabric as I stroke it smooth across the bed ( albeit in my chipped nail varnish adorned hands) …but no… its more of a grunt than a sigh… it reminds me of sleeping in hospital as a young girl, as the nurse tucked me into the far too hard bed with sheets of a hardness that would put off even the most laid back of decorator looking for a sheet to cover the carpet.

I don’t want function and hard wearing!!! I want softness, indescribable pleasure and comfort hugging me daily and making me groan with pleasure as I slide my feet about under the plump of the quilt, finding the cool spots against my hard heeled trotters.

I could weep for my saved up money.. our special treat… lost now as they won’t change or refund because I washed them.. aren’t you are supposed to wash new sheets before you use them?!?

(I could have kitted the whole family out in Linenbundle twice with that money!!… ‘gutted’ is an understatement )

The Customer service was rubbish too!!! The once purring Parisian accent that soothed me through my order had been replaced with an ‘Edith from Allo Allo’ doppelgänger  as she lectured me about the quality of the product and how I had now ( imagine the accent of a snooty Parisian madam) ‘used the sheets so they were no use to anyone now’… I imagined her inspecting her nails as she spoke to me with an air of utter disinterest.

I was very upset .. (this is a polite way to put it because I was really p*ssed off) All that saving up, the expectation of the utter luxury they promised… I was very sad .. and yes I know this is pathetic.. but some people get obsessed with the perfect lipstick or pair of designer shoes, maybe you’re are obsessed with dolphins or some ludicrous sports car.. I know.. I know… I’m just obsessed with my bed.. ok?

So as I sulked the facebook spooky spying elves had been listening and started throwing up loads of luxury bedding sites…. and yes I started looking again… and then I saw them…

Linenbundle!!!!

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I knew straight they were going to look after me even if I didn’t like the product, they were saying everything on their page that I wanted.. I mean there was actual a list of reasons why I should buy them… that list could have been written by me!!

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I felt like I’d met my bed soul mate!

So I spent some more money (albeit it a hell of a lot less than the posh hotel stuff but still money I had put aside for the fancy new tap in the bathroom) on one of the splendid bundles !!!

 

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They arrived in a little grey canvas bag and although not individually wrapped in tissue paper with a silk lavender bag.. there was postcard with Lionel Richie on it and cute little pun… I LOVE THAT!

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As soon as I opened them I knew I’d found what I’d been looking for.. soft, natural, classy, and kind of understated really… but in a ‘Im really amazing but I don’t need to tell you about it’ kind of vibe….

I put them on the bed and OMG!!!!! they are just what I have been searching for for the last 25 years!!!! I climbed in at exactly 5pm and did that weird thing where I kind of cycle my legs about between the sheet and duvet testing the smoothness and enjoying the coolness of the fabric.. I am very weird like that! I made lots of groaning and MMMMmmmming noises and thats where I was found an hour later by my hubster..

I was in bed with my pjs on watching Tv with my 5 year old as he walked in ( if he was a cartoon he’d have had a question mark above his head) .. unapologetic and knowingly I just just held up my hand to stop his questions before they started!

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I simply flipped over the quilt on his side, with no hesitation at all he kicked of his trousers and climbed in…

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God I love that man!

 

So we all sat there unspeaking and happy for another hour before dragging ourself up and downstairs to pretend we were normal.

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There was a small issue with the quilt cover which Im not even going to add because it was quite irrelevant in the whole scheme of things and besides it was rectified in 24 hours as a new one sent out no quibbles.. they even said the keep the old one as a spare!!!

So yes.. they are Fab! I love them!!! the customer service was fab.. friendly, quick and faultless. just the kind of no fuss I like.

I’ve now got a set for my daughter and will get a bundle for each of my other brood, one  every month I reckon.. so by the summer we will all be languishing in glamorous beds!!!

 

 

So in a nutshell…

Yes  Linenbundle sheets and bedding are a little pricy but, they are by no means as expensive as those selling equivalent quality!

These sheets are NOT Argos or ASDA.. they are not ‘£7.99 for a fitted sheet’ that after three washes looks like a whole load of un-soaked orbies as it turns into a million little balls of irritation!!! These will get softer and more loved with age… you can just tell its going to keep on getting nicer and nicer!!

No printed unicorns, peacocks of flamingos to fade and go out of fashion, no faux satin panels or Broderie anglaise frill… these are plain and understatedly expensive looking.. a bit of quiet class..

Ditch the prints…and fuss….after all no-one expects the queen to sleep under a duvet sporting a black and white printed image of London ( with the phone box the only thing showing colour) .. her majesty  is in plain, soft and expensive sheets.. you know it…she knows it.. it the only way to go.

 

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This purchase isn’t a throw away fashion purchase..

It’s an investment!!!

Your bed is important!!!

Spend extra on it! ( but you don’t need to spend too much.. the price is just right)

It so worth saving a little and getting these, you’ll never buy a scratchy patterned printed duvet cover again that will bobble up in the wash and go out of style before it’s pattern fades to a grey shadow of its former self ..

keep in plain…

keep it soft..

keep it classic…

keep it classy!!!

 

Be aware that you may have unwanted visitors though…. my little girl and teenage son keep jumping in and saying with a whine “whhhhhy is your bed soooo comfy?’

Even my 18 year old daughter climbed in on Sunday morning!!!! there is totally no privacy when you have 4 children!

So… I’ve done it.. I have my perfect bed… and the snooty Parisian lady can sniff at me all she likes.. I’m sticking with Linenbundle.

 

PS: I’d like to say the new bedding allowed us to reacting our honeymoon at last.. but to be honest we’ve just been sleeping too well for all that!!!

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